


Root, Loot, and Boot

by Selador



Series: Sel's Prompt Fills and Other Ficlets [8]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Gen, M/M, The Game, and torment each other at the same time, root loot and boot, the dudes talk about which astrals they would be dtf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-06-05 08:55:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15167141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Selador/pseuds/Selador
Summary: The four of them discuss whether or not they'd fuck the people and astrals depicted in the gallery of the Citdael.They learn a lot about Prompto.





	Root, Loot, and Boot

**Author's Note:**

> she5los asked for: "The ot4 (or just Noctis, Iggy, and Prompto) playing "root, loot, or boot" in either a fancy museum or a particularly art-covered section of the Citadel."
> 
> and then enide-s-dear on tumblr added: "lets go through the astral section next says prompto to the horror of everyone else" at which i couldn't help myself
> 
> The source of inspiration for what eventually became the fic, "Burning."

“I would definitely fuck him,” Prompto announces.

“That’s like. My great-great-great-great-great grandfather,” Noctis says. “I’m not playing.”

“I would boot,” Ignis says. Prompto gives a crow of success that Iggy’s playing. “While the style is pleasing, the artist was in colloquial terms, an  _asshole_.”

“Eh,” Gladio says. “Not bad. I wouldn’t fuck him though. Loot, definitely. He looks like he’s judging my very existence. I’d hang him up in the guest bathroom, to stare at people while they’re on the toilet.”

“Some things just belong in the trash,” Ignis says.

“I’m  _related_  to him,” Noctis says.

“So don’t play, it’s fine. Or there’s gotta be art somewhere that’s not of your ancestors,” Prompto says, wondering down the hallway to another room. “It’s like a museum in here! You guys should hold tours.”

“Oh, the Council has definitely discussed it,” Ignis murmurs.

“How about this one? I would definitely fuck,” Prompto announces.

Gladio splutters. “That’s  _my_  ancestor!”

“I’d fuck him too,” Noct chimes in.

“Oh, come on!” Gladio says.

“He does bear a striking resemblance to you, Gladio,” Ignis comments. “Yes, I’m also in the ‘fuck’ category.”

“Oh my  _gods_ ,” Gladio complains.

“Now you know how it feels,” Noctis says.

...

They move onto the next section, and Prompto gives the an art piece great consideration. The others wait in trepidatious horror.

“No,” Prompto says. “I’d loot, but not fuck.”

“Oh, thanks the gods,” Noctis says. “It’s  _Bahamut_. You can’t fuck  _Bahamut_.”

“Well–” Prompto begins, face setting into  _challenge mode_.

“No,” Noctis says, pulling him away from the statue. “Not a challenge. I believe you can fuck anyone or anything you want, you don’t need to prove it, let’s just go.”

“But we haven’t even gotten to Titan yet,” Prompto whines. “Have you noticed that he never has a dick?”

“Of course we have,” Ignis comments. “We just have enough respect for the astrals to not say it.”

“Listen, the Niflheim patron astral is a giant, fiery, horned asshole,” Prompto says, pulling free from Noctis. “Who I would  _definitely_  fuck, but come on, look at him. He’s got  _horns_.”

**Author's Note:**

> prompto would succeed in seducing bahamut, i've decided


End file.
